With children, they are born with a God given temperament. You can either work with it or against it. Your choice. Sure, the things you do can affect your child both positively and negatively, but will not change their essence.
With a chronic illness, you can find ways to manage/cope with symptoms, but the underlying disease will not just go away because of your efforts. It will not cease being a chronic illness just because you are trying really hard.
And, in both cases, you will have folks who have not walked a mile in your shoes trying to tell you what to do, what you have done wrong, and offering you all kinds of "help" (but it really is just pure judgement... there are many good people who DO try to sincerely help, not talking about them). Most of these people can only see life through one lens.... their own. They see things only in terms of "if I had to deal with X, I'd do Y" But that is mere speculation and lack of humility on their part. I should know.
Over the last couple of years I have really come a long way on my journey towards humility. I am sorry for all of the times I was sure I knew better than someone else.... I realize more and more every day that everyone has their own cross to bear and, just because it doesn't resemble mine, doesn't mean it isn't just as difficult for them to bear. OR, that just because they bear a cross that I think I could bear with ease, doesn't mean that they are weenies, wimps, or weak.
God blesses us all in different ways. God grants us the grace to deal with our difficult crosses. God offers us endless opportunities to grow in virtue. Do we see them?
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